just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
