What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
