I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
