don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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