ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
