What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
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Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
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You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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