I feel like I'm in dance class right now
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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