people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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