Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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