Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
