I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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