apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
