You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
