I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
