Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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