I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
