May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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