He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
