im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
this will be a night to untag.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
