I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i think i have two assholes
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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