Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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