It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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