OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Randomize