Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
