Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?

(1-212): View more from New York

idk but i think it had a face

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.

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(775): View more from Nevada

she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward

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(207): View more from Maine

Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar

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(858): View more from California

Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.

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(563): View more from Iowa

at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap

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(740): View more from Ohio

I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.

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