Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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