I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She's the barista slut.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
