He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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