so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
