So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.