We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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