now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
