If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
