Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
