In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Randomize
