Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
