Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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