I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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