Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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