So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
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My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
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its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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