She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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