I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
