Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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