weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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