Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
