Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
