I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
