someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
