C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
