The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
