After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
