remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i think my cat just said my name.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
