I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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