do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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