he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
