I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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