we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
