I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We're too hungover to prance.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
